"I Am Yours"

The Mirror & American Culture

Hi everyone,

Last semester, I wrote a paper for my American Culture class where we had to take a piece of American literature (i.e. novel, short story, song, movie, etc.) and then discuss how it describes or discusses American culture. So, I thought I would share it with you.

If for some reason, you would like to cite this (I'm so flattered...), here's what you'll need:

Turabian style (6th ed.)

H., Wendy. "The Mirror and American Culture." My Memoirs. 2006. Available from http://ising4him.blogspot.com/2007/01/mirror-american-culture.html. Accessed [Day] [Month] [Year].

(The spacing in the original document is correct. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to add tabs and extra spacing in html yet.)

Enjoy!

THE CRISWELL COLLEGE


THE MIRROR AND AMERICAN CULTURE


AMERICAN CULTURE: CONTEMPORARY THOUGHT
DR. CREAMER


BY
WENDY H.


RICHARDSON, TX
OCTOBER 2006

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me.
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me.

Barlowgirl, “Mirror”


“Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” (Snow White, 1994) This is one of the most classic movie quotes of all time from the beloved children’s movie, Walt Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The beautiful and vain queen gazes into her magic mirror that can only speak the truth, and she wants to receive validation from it that there is no one fairer than she. When the mirror reveals that she is not the fairest one of all, she flies off on an envious and murderous rampage. Even though this is just a fairy tale, it still holds a universal truth; people, especially women, still seek validation from their mirror and from society and culture to tell them that they are attractive and beautiful; and that they have worth, value, and identity. The song, “Mirror” by Barlowgirl, shows how American culture’s views and God’s views drastically contrast regarding a person’s image and identity.
Beginning in early childhood, American culture (i.e. television, movies, magazines, books, advertisements, family, and friends) bombards us with the message:

… [What] matters most for women… is beauty—physical beauty. Even parents, siblings, teachers, and friends sometimes add unwittingly to the chorus: “darling” children get oohs, aahs, and doting attention, while less attractive, overweight, or gangly children may be the objects of unkind comments, indifference, or even overt rejection. (DeMoss, 77)

Self-image is a struggle for most women, even super models, and Becca, Alyssa, and Lauren Barlow, the three sisters of Barlowgirl, a Christian rock group from Illinois, have also dealt with having a proper perspective of who they see when they look in the mirror. Wrestling with this issue was the reason the song, “Mirror” was written. In the song, they ask the mirror a very important question, “Who are you to tell me / that I'm less than what I should be? / Who are you?” (Barlowgirl, 2004) Everyone has answered that question whether they realize it or not. The answer is that the mirror is either their master or it is not. If they have been deceived into believing that the mirror is their master, then they have bought into a lie and have become a slave to the standards set by their culture and society. The problem with trying to live up to cultural standards is that it is an impossible task. Shannon Ethridge, a well-known Christian author, speaker, and counselor, asks some very important questions on this topic in her book, Every Young Woman’s Battle:

When you look into the mirror, what do you see? A friend or a foe? Are you thankful for God’s creation or critical of His handiwork? How much time and energy do you spend critiquing and criticizing your facial features? your hair? your body? Do you compare yourself to magazine cover models or to your girlfriends, getting discouraged that you don’t seem to measure up to everyone else? (Ethridge, 51)

Culture claims that to be accepted, you must be beautiful—more specifically, your physical appearance must match-up with what society considers to be beautiful. Some of these standards include having the perfect hairstyle, clothes, make-up, waist-size, chest-size, and the list never ends. Not only does culture’s beauty list never end, it also never stops changing. “Keeping up with the Jones” is a never-ending rat-race that will only lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and depression. The song lyrics sum it up by saying, “I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect.” (Barlowgirl, 2004) American culture says that the mirror should be your master, and thus, a woman’s ultimate ambition should be physical beauty, but God says quite the opposite.
God desires to free women from bondage to their mirror by becoming their Master and showing them that inner beauty is much more valuable to Him than physical beauty. Michelle Graham, a speaker for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, says that “the place to begin is to wrestle with some key biblical truths about how God made us and how much He delights in us. I have found very little hope for a truly healthy body image outside of knowing Jesus intimately.” (Graham, 27) Though culture tells women that they are only as beautiful as their society rates them to be, God reveals that to be a lie. He is the creator of all things, and everyone is made in His image (Genesis 1:26a NIV). Not only does God consider all that He has made to be very good (Genesis 1:31a NIV), He also says that He is enthralled by our beauty (Psalm 45:11 NLT). King David proclaimed to God, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well…. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!” (Psalm 139:14, 17-18 NIV) What an incredible statement! The Creator of the Universe knows you intimately, and even more amazing is that He promises that as we continue to deepen our love relationship with Jesus Christ, we will be changed from the inside out. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV) Though your physical appearance may not change, your perception will as you begin to see things in a whole new light. The turning point in the song says, “Mirror I am seeing a new reflection. / I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me, / And to Him I have beauty beyond compare.” (Barlowgirl, 2004) “…The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart….” (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV) Being set free from the bondage of the mirror and culture is the first step, but the next step is sometimes more difficult. Barlowgirl declares, “I don't need to listen / to the list of things I should do. / I won’t try.” (Barlowgirl, 2004) What this means is that “the quest for a healthy body image requires us to swim against the current of mainstream culture.” (Graham, 27) This doesn’t mean that “women [shouldn’t] seek to look their best… [; it] simply challenges [us] to not devote all [our] energies toward painting the outside, thus neglecting the enduring qualities that need developing on the inside.” (Kendall & Jones, 54)
Another aspect of American culture that the song, “Mirror” reveals is that our culture and society tries to make us believe that they are the ones who define us and give us our identity. “‘Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am.” (Barlowgirl, 2004) Nancy Leigh DeMoss, a well-known Christian host and teacher on the daily radio program, “Revive Our Hearts,” says in her book, Lies That Women Believe:

… [Our] view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes the input of others is accurate and helpful. But not always. If, for some reason, the person we are listening to is looking through a defective “lens,” his or her vision will be distorted. Some of us have lived all our lives in an emotional prison because we have accepted what a false, “broken” mirror said to us about ourselves. (DeMoss, 66)

Our Darwinist and atheistic society teaches us starting in grade school science class that everything is the result of evolution. Science tries to convince us that there is no God, or a Divine Creator; so everything is the way it is by nothing more than random chance. Thus, everyone is nothing more than an accident, which voids out the idea that people have inherent value and worth. With this idea as our society’s presupposition, people have spent and wasted their lives striving to turn themselves into an image and identity that will be accepted by our society, so they can feel valuable and worthy of love. People seek to find their identity through many avenues. Someone may find their worth by being a successful business executive, or by being a high-priced lawyer. Someone may achieve fame by being a well-known actor, singer, or artist. Another may find prestige by being a professor with multiple degrees hanging on their wall, or by being a pastor of a mega-church with pack-out services every Sunday. Having a profession is not the only goal that people pursue to find their identity; many people seek relationships to find their fulfillment. One of the mottos that Barlowgirl is known for is their stance on not dating. Alyssa, the bass guitarist in Barlowgirl, said in an interview, “[Single people are] using relationships as a crutch to cover up our insecurity. The reason why our generation's singles are jumping so often from person to person is because they're searching for self worth.” (Fervent, 2006) The truth is that “… it doesn’t matter how good-looking, rich, athletic, smart, godly, or charming [a person] may be. No [one] can ever make you feel like you are somebody. That comes from knowing how special you are to God and from becoming the person God created you to be.” (Ethridge, 34)
God tells us two important things about our identity. The first is that He is the one who made us, and second, He is the one who defines us. The person in the song is looking in the mirror and sees a reflection that is different from their own—a new one; they reveal to the mirror that they are “…looking into the eyes of He who made me [emphasis mine].” (Barlowgirl, 2004) God says in His Word that no one is an accident. He is our creator and formed and knit us in our mother’s wombs (Psalm 139:13 NIV) and that every moment of our lives was ordained by Him before we were even conceived (Palm 139:16 NIV). No one is an accident, despite what culture says, and God has given everyone who is born-again a purpose and a reason for being. “Now all of you together are Christ's body, and each one of you is a separate and necessary part of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:27 NLT) If God is our creator, then that also means that He is the one who defines us. Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones, in their book, Lady In Waiting, give us a great picture of how God defines his people:

By spending time in God’s Word, you will also learn what God thinks of you. In [1] Peter 2:4, God says you are choice and precious to Him. He calls you precious, honored, loved, and His redeemed one in Isaiah 43:1-6. Isaiah 43:7 says you were created for His glory. You are very special to God—so special that He has plans for you: “plans for [your] welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11b) (Kendall & Jones, 102)

Those who are followers of Christ have been set free and are no longer slaves to this world. Jesus is the image of the invisible God, our creator, and it is Him we are called to imitate, and be a reflection of to our society and culture. The Apostle Paul tells us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV) Once we have established our firm foundation in Christ, we can boldly and confidently tell our society, culture, and the mirror, “So sorry you won't define me. / Sorry you don't own me.” (Barlowgirl, 2004) The song, “Mirror” by Barlowgirl, clearly shows how American culture’s views and God’s views drastically contrast regarding a person’s image and identity.


BIBLIOGRAPHY


Barlowgirl. “Mirror.” Barlowgirl. Fervent Records/Spirit-led Records, Nashville, TN, 2004. CD.

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh. Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. Chicago, IL:
Moody Press, 2001.

Ethridge, Shannon and Stephen Arterburn. Every Young Woman’s Battle. Colorado Springs:
WaterBrook Press, 2004.

Fervent Records. “Barlowgirl Biography.” Yahoo! Music. Avaiable from http://music.yahoo.com/ar-310014-bio--Barlowgirl. Accessed 1 October 2006.

Graham, Michelle. Wanting to Be Her: Body Image Secrets Victoria Won’t Tell You. Downers
Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2005.

Kendall, Jackie, and Debby Jones. Lady in Waiting: Becoming God’s Best While Waiting for Mr. Right (Expanded Edition). Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image Publishers, 2005.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Directed by David Hand, Perce Pearce, William Cottrell,
Larry Morey, Wilfred Jackson, and Ben Sharpsteen. 84 min. Walt Disney, 1994. Videocassette.

Surrender

This song by Barlowgirl is so beautiful, powerful, and convicting. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. Enjoy!

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't You let me go?

Surrender, surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me.

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

Surrender, surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me.

Surrender, surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me.

Come Into My Life

I remember when I was in elementary school I would be playing in my room or doing homework while listening to the radio. We didn't have iTunes back then and CD players were a brand new, very expensive item to own. But I distinctly remember listening to the radio like a hawk waiting anxiously to hear a favorite song that I could quickly run to my tape player to record.
I came across a box the other day with a bunch of tapes that I had recorded back in the day with all types of songs on them: Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Paula Abdul, Elton John, to name a few. But I thought was interesting was to realize that even though I didn't have a relationship with God as a child, He was already working on my heart. I noticed that most of the songs recorded were secular, but a few were Christian. I never even realized it at the time. I had Amy Grant, Kathy Troccolli, and a few others songs who artists are unknown to me.
One song in particular I remember really touched me and would always make me cry as a child, and I really didn't understand why. Kind of reminds me of the disciples comprehending Jesus saying that He would be arrested, killed, and then rise from the dead three days later. They never got it... until He did it! I was apparrently just as clueless as they were, but thank God that He is just as patient with me as He was with His disciples. I'm also thankful that the Christian radio station played those songs and allowed God to use them to plant the seed of the Gospel in my heart, even though I didn't know it at the time.

Come Into My Life
Artist: The Imperials

No this isn't easy
But I can't keep runnin' from Your love
I've been denyin' way too long
That there's something deep inside me
That takes me down the road that leads me to Your door
I know that I belong there with You
My human nature would keep me far away
But God I really need You
I'm asking You to stay

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh I'm through pretending
That I've got everything a man could ever need
You know I'm tired of the lie
Yeah, I was so independent
But independence never calmed my soul at night
Now I close my eyes and peace consumes me
Your love has shown me
What it is I need to be
And when I least expect it
Love becomes more real

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh, I ran from You so long
Never could leave Your touch
You loved me day by day
Never leavin' a doubt
So, now I'm tired of this fight
And I need Your strength tonight
You see I've never been as ready as I am right now

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh, come into my life

You Humble Me

Has God ever humbled you?
Even if you say no, He most likely has, and you just didn't realize that it was Him.

Ever had one of those times when you've spent uncountable hours studying for a test to the point where you feel like your brain is gonna explode? You walk into the classroom and you are 100% confident that you are gonna ace it. Then the moment that sheet of paper is placed before you, all of the information and knowledge that you worked so hard to store and retain suddenly vanishes as though someone had ripped out the hard drive of your brain and turned it into ash? And all your confidence and diligence is rewarded with nothing but a dismal grade.

Or have you ever been asked to sing a solo with your church choir? The song is beautiful and powerful, but challenging. You're touched and honored to be asked and you want to do a great job; so you practice everyday for 2 weeks learning the song. By the time Wednesday rehearsal rolls around (the first time the choir will hear you sing the song with them), you know the song by heart. You could sing it in your sleep. You're in the choir room; the choir director asks you to come up and grab the microphone. Everything goes fine, at first, then suddenly, your mind goes blank. You even have the music in front of you, but you can't remember the next phrase or find your place. Though you can't verify it, you are quite sure that your face has turned 3 shades of pink. The song is over and all you want to do is crawl under a rock, but none are in sight.
"What just happened?" you ask yourself. "Well, at least that's over."
Not quite... after rehearsing a few more songs, the choir director tells everyone to go to the sanctuary for a run-through of "the special" (aka your song) with the orchestra.
Your throat goes dry, your palms become clammy, and your heart is pounding in your ears. "Oh, God, please don't let me mess up again," you pray silently as you walk to the front of the stage. You run through the verses in your mind again and again. Though your confidence has been shaken, you are sure that it'll be all right this time... right?
Wrong! Even with monitors in front of you with your words, you botch it worse than the first time. Every fiber in your being wants to run away and hide, but you finish, and with as much dignity as you can muster, you go back to your seat and finish the rehearsal.

Want to know what just happened?
That was God humbling you.
Sometimes we get so caught up in being perfect and polished that we forget the reason why we do anything. To bring glory to God. We're all guilty of trying to do everything with our own strength, talent, abilities, knowledge, etc. God says, "Sorry to disappoint you, but you can do nothing apart from me." And sometimes, He has to do something to get our attention and make us correct our focus.
He loves us and wants the best for us, but we won't be useful to Him if our heart is not attuned with His. God disciplines those that He loves and whom He calls His own.
That Wednesday evening, I asked for forgiveness for my pride, and I thanked Him for humbling me. I had failed to remember that I am just an instrument and He is the musician. Whenever I sing, I desire for the congregation to hear God's voice, not mine. I cannot change a human heart nor touch a person's spirit, but God can!

When Sunday came, I was more nervous than I had even been in my life. So, all I could do was just continually and silently pray that God would give me peace and sing through me. When it came time for the song, I walked to the front of the stage. I prayed that the congregation would not notice that my knees and hands were shaking. The music started and... the rest is a bit of a blur. All I know is that God answered my prayers. I didn't mess up, and it was such a sweet and awesome time of worship! Some people told me after the choir was dismissed that during my song, the monitor-people missed one of the slides for my lyrics... I never even noticed. God was in control, and I give all the glory to Him. He was the one who was singing, not me.

So, I just want to encourage you. If you're going through a time where you feel like nothing is going your way or you just can't do anything right, turn your focus back to the Lord. Apart from Him you can do nothing, but surrender yourself to Him and there is no limit to what He can accomplish through you.
"Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above, who created all heaven's lights. Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." (James 1:17 NLT)
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13 NASB)
"I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So, I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20 NLT)

You Humble Me
Artist: unknown

I see the cost of my unrighteousness.
The rugged cross You willingly embraced.
When my release demanded nothing less
than a holy sacrifice, You took my place
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me

I was the one who held the jagged spear
that pierced Your side
and broke Your wounded heart,
but grace flowed down and now surrounds me here.
And I'm overwhelmed that You would go so far
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me

chorus (2x)
I fall on my face
completely undone
confounded by grace, astounded by love
a love so amazing, love so divine
taking my place on a cross that was mine

How can it be that with Your final breath
You give me life?
I tremble at the thought
that I should gain some profit from Your death.
With the blood You shed, my pardon has been bought
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me
Oh, God, You humble me

chorus (2x)
I fall on my face
completely undone
confounded by grace, astounded by love
a love so amazing, love so divine
taking my place on a cross that was mine

You took my place
You humble me

Song information:
You Humble Me
Sue C. Smith, David Moffitt, Travis Cottrell
First Hand Revelation Music
Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc.

Table For Two

I recently found an old song that Christi introduced me to a long time ago. It really ministered to me (and still does...), and I hope it will minister to you as well as you (as a single) continue to pursue your love relationship with Christ seeking to become the man or woman that God desires you to be.

Table For Two
By Caedmon’s Call

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around

But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.