When we first watched it, AQ happened to make a comment that I didn't really understand at first. She said that I remind her of Jane, one of Elizabeth's sisters in the movie. After watching it again (with subtitles... English accents can be a bit hard to understand...) for the 2nd time this past Saturday, I paid closer attention to the character Jane and now I finally understand what she meant.
There's a line in the movie where Elizabeth is having a heated arguement with Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth has discovered that Mr. Darcy purposely split up Jane and one of his good friends. He says to Elizabeth that he did so because after watching the two of them closely, he "thought" that his friend's feelings for Jane were deeper than her feelings for his friend. He thought that Jane was indifferent to him. (This is of course not true. The audience sees clearly that Jane was heart-broken when she found out that her beloved was leaving.) So, Mr. Darcy broke them up. Elizabeth, tells Mr. Darcy, that her sister is not indifferent; she's just shy and then yells at him, "My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me!" And all Mr. Darcy can do is stand there feeling like the biggest heel in all of creation.
After watching the scene, I began to look at myself. Am I like Jane? Am I really like that? Am I hard to read? Do I really keep my emotions that restrained? Am I really that shy? I'm not sure. Sometimes when we try to evaluate ourselves, we see ourselves differently than who we really are. We sometimes see what we want to see as opposed to what we really are or vise versa. I guess that's when we have to trust in the opinion of others (friends and family) to help us correctly evaluate our outward personality.
I did just recently finish going through a ministry placement seminar called PLACE. Among some other things, they have you take a personality test and a spiritual gift test to help you find out more about yourself. Apparently, my personality is mostly Phlegmatic (48%) with a bit of Melancholy (33%). The other 2 kinds of personalities are Sanguine (18%) and Choleric (3%).
Another thing I found interesting was that before I became a Christian I took a spiritual gift test and it said that my gift was Mercy. But now, the test I took says that my #1 gift is Evangelism, #2 is Exhortation, and there was a 3-way tie for #3: Mercy, Faith and Discernment.
The Bible says that we are garrenteed at least 1 spiritual gift when we are born-again, and I do believe that as you mature in your walk with the Lord that He can give you other gifts. The apostle Paul even said, "Since you are so eager to have spiritual gifts, ask God for those that will be of real help to the whole church." (1 Cor. 14:12 NLT)
So, now that I have all this info, what do I do with it? In a week or so, a consultant from the church is gonna meet with me, and she or he will help me to find a ministry where my personality and my gifts can be used to further God's Kingdom. Now, I just have to be patient, wait and see what God has in store...
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