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Come Into My Life

I remember when I was in elementary school I would be playing in my room or doing homework while listening to the radio. We didn't have iTunes back then and CD players were a brand new, very expensive item to own. But I distinctly remember listening to the radio like a hawk waiting anxiously to hear a favorite song that I could quickly run to my tape player to record.
I came across a box the other day with a bunch of tapes that I had recorded back in the day with all types of songs on them: Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Paula Abdul, Elton John, to name a few. But I thought was interesting was to realize that even though I didn't have a relationship with God as a child, He was already working on my heart. I noticed that most of the songs recorded were secular, but a few were Christian. I never even realized it at the time. I had Amy Grant, Kathy Troccolli, and a few others songs who artists are unknown to me.
One song in particular I remember really touched me and would always make me cry as a child, and I really didn't understand why. Kind of reminds me of the disciples comprehending Jesus saying that He would be arrested, killed, and then rise from the dead three days later. They never got it... until He did it! I was apparrently just as clueless as they were, but thank God that He is just as patient with me as He was with His disciples. I'm also thankful that the Christian radio station played those songs and allowed God to use them to plant the seed of the Gospel in my heart, even though I didn't know it at the time.

Come Into My Life
Artist: The Imperials

No this isn't easy
But I can't keep runnin' from Your love
I've been denyin' way too long
That there's something deep inside me
That takes me down the road that leads me to Your door
I know that I belong there with You
My human nature would keep me far away
But God I really need You
I'm asking You to stay

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh I'm through pretending
That I've got everything a man could ever need
You know I'm tired of the lie
Yeah, I was so independent
But independence never calmed my soul at night
Now I close my eyes and peace consumes me
Your love has shown me
What it is I need to be
And when I least expect it
Love becomes more real

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh, I ran from You so long
Never could leave Your touch
You loved me day by day
Never leavin' a doubt
So, now I'm tired of this fight
And I need Your strength tonight
You see I've never been as ready as I am right now

Chorus
Come into my life
Change this heart forever
Let my feel the healin' in Your touch
Take all my hurt away
Come into my life
I surrender all my feelings
You've got the love I've needed all along
Lord, I pray that You will
Come into my life

Oh, come into my life

Great Quote

Great quote from the movie, Serenity:
Mal is the captain of the Firefly-class spaceship called Serenity
Wash is the ships's pilot.

WASH: Yeah well if she doesn't give us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burnthrough the landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
MAL: Define 'interesting.'
WASH (calm suggestion): 'Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die'

Phobias

Most of us have some fears, and we've probably heard about some phobias such as:
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets.
And Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders

But I had no idea the extent of people fears. Take a look at the list: http://phobialist.com/
Here are just a few examples:

Bogyphobia - Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns
Dutchphobia - Fear of the Dutch
Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers
Hobophobia - Fear of bums or beggars
Koniophobia - Fear of dust. (Amathophobia)
Leukophobia - Fear of the color white
Optophobia - Fear of opening one's eyes
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias

And the list goes on, and on, and on...

I Will Survive

If you haven't seen this short animation clip, you should. It's quite humerous!

Alien Song <----- click this link to see the animation!

You Humble Me

Has God ever humbled you?
Even if you say no, He most likely has, and you just didn't realize that it was Him.

Ever had one of those times when you've spent uncountable hours studying for a test to the point where you feel like your brain is gonna explode? You walk into the classroom and you are 100% confident that you are gonna ace it. Then the moment that sheet of paper is placed before you, all of the information and knowledge that you worked so hard to store and retain suddenly vanishes as though someone had ripped out the hard drive of your brain and turned it into ash? And all your confidence and diligence is rewarded with nothing but a dismal grade.

Or have you ever been asked to sing a solo with your church choir? The song is beautiful and powerful, but challenging. You're touched and honored to be asked and you want to do a great job; so you practice everyday for 2 weeks learning the song. By the time Wednesday rehearsal rolls around (the first time the choir will hear you sing the song with them), you know the song by heart. You could sing it in your sleep. You're in the choir room; the choir director asks you to come up and grab the microphone. Everything goes fine, at first, then suddenly, your mind goes blank. You even have the music in front of you, but you can't remember the next phrase or find your place. Though you can't verify it, you are quite sure that your face has turned 3 shades of pink. The song is over and all you want to do is crawl under a rock, but none are in sight.
"What just happened?" you ask yourself. "Well, at least that's over."
Not quite... after rehearsing a few more songs, the choir director tells everyone to go to the sanctuary for a run-through of "the special" (aka your song) with the orchestra.
Your throat goes dry, your palms become clammy, and your heart is pounding in your ears. "Oh, God, please don't let me mess up again," you pray silently as you walk to the front of the stage. You run through the verses in your mind again and again. Though your confidence has been shaken, you are sure that it'll be all right this time... right?
Wrong! Even with monitors in front of you with your words, you botch it worse than the first time. Every fiber in your being wants to run away and hide, but you finish, and with as much dignity as you can muster, you go back to your seat and finish the rehearsal.

Want to know what just happened?
That was God humbling you.
Sometimes we get so caught up in being perfect and polished that we forget the reason why we do anything. To bring glory to God. We're all guilty of trying to do everything with our own strength, talent, abilities, knowledge, etc. God says, "Sorry to disappoint you, but you can do nothing apart from me." And sometimes, He has to do something to get our attention and make us correct our focus.
He loves us and wants the best for us, but we won't be useful to Him if our heart is not attuned with His. God disciplines those that He loves and whom He calls His own.
That Wednesday evening, I asked for forgiveness for my pride, and I thanked Him for humbling me. I had failed to remember that I am just an instrument and He is the musician. Whenever I sing, I desire for the congregation to hear God's voice, not mine. I cannot change a human heart nor touch a person's spirit, but God can!

When Sunday came, I was more nervous than I had even been in my life. So, all I could do was just continually and silently pray that God would give me peace and sing through me. When it came time for the song, I walked to the front of the stage. I prayed that the congregation would not notice that my knees and hands were shaking. The music started and... the rest is a bit of a blur. All I know is that God answered my prayers. I didn't mess up, and it was such a sweet and awesome time of worship! Some people told me after the choir was dismissed that during my song, the monitor-people missed one of the slides for my lyrics... I never even noticed. God was in control, and I give all the glory to Him. He was the one who was singing, not me.

So, I just want to encourage you. If you're going through a time where you feel like nothing is going your way or you just can't do anything right, turn your focus back to the Lord. Apart from Him you can do nothing, but surrender yourself to Him and there is no limit to what He can accomplish through you.
"Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above, who created all heaven's lights. Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." (James 1:17 NLT)
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13 NASB)
"I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So, I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20 NLT)

You Humble Me
Artist: unknown

I see the cost of my unrighteousness.
The rugged cross You willingly embraced.
When my release demanded nothing less
than a holy sacrifice, You took my place
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me

I was the one who held the jagged spear
that pierced Your side
and broke Your wounded heart,
but grace flowed down and now surrounds me here.
And I'm overwhelmed that You would go so far
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me

chorus (2x)
I fall on my face
completely undone
confounded by grace, astounded by love
a love so amazing, love so divine
taking my place on a cross that was mine

How can it be that with Your final breath
You give me life?
I tremble at the thought
that I should gain some profit from Your death.
With the blood You shed, my pardon has been bought
to set me free.
Oh, God, You humble me
Oh, God, You humble me

chorus (2x)
I fall on my face
completely undone
confounded by grace, astounded by love
a love so amazing, love so divine
taking my place on a cross that was mine

You took my place
You humble me

Song information:
You Humble Me
Sue C. Smith, David Moffitt, Travis Cottrell
First Hand Revelation Music
Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc.

Table For Two

I recently found an old song that Christi introduced me to a long time ago. It really ministered to me (and still does...), and I hope it will minister to you as well as you (as a single) continue to pursue your love relationship with Christ seeking to become the man or woman that God desires you to be.

Table For Two
By Caedmon’s Call

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around

But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

Memories of England

Greeting loyal readers!

Yes, I made it back safe and sound last Monday night. I am glad to be back home in the good 'ole USA. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. Though I can't say that I missed the scorching weather. After week and a half, I think I have finally recovered from the jet-lag. ;-)
Well, as you can tell from my entries, I had an incredible time in England. God is so good, and He blessed us tremendously! The people at Thornaby were wonderful, and I am so thankful that God allowed me to go. Thank you all again for all of your prayers!
We didn't have any professions of faith while we were there, but I know that we planted and watered some seeds.

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." (Isaiah 55:10-11 NIV)

I've gotten some email addresses from the kids at the Holiday Club and I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep in contact with them. They really were great kids! I could not have asked for better. = )

Here are just a few of many fond memories I have from my trip:

* Getting to relax and sleep in the really nice flight attendant seats on our flight over to England.
* Getting asked late-afternoon on Sunday (HC started on Mon) to do a part in the drama reading the part of "Wendy, the sister in the Watts family"

* While playing duck, duck, goose with the kids, I was sitting next to a shy, pudgy, little boy (about 7 yrs old). I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then he suddenly scooted closer to me and hugged my arm. My heart melted. It was just too sweet!

* Maxine's recipe book perfect cuisine and her humbly saying, "Oh, it's nothing. I just threw it together."

* Being asked to present the Gospel to the kids and to the parents on Friday.

* Getting to IM some friends while in England.

* Getting to see "Chicago" live in London.

* Touring Buckingham Palace. The Music Room was my favorite! I came so close to busting out with either "The Hills are Alive" or "Amazing Grace." But I was able to restrain myself... barely.

* Getting some "alone time" when I let Michelle have my seat next to Kasey on both flights home. This time I was in the midst of the youth, but they were actually pretty quiet (most of the time). iPod is a wonderful invention, isn't it? ;-)

Well, I must call it a night. Until next time... grace and peace!

England Trip - part 3

Well, my England adventure is wrapping up. Our group will be flying home tomorrow afternoon.

Michelle, Kasey & I got to tour the staterooms at Buckingham Palace (due to the royal family being on holiday); plus, there was a special display of the the Queen's dresses. 7 decades worth of some of her most elegent evening gowns. It was quite a site to see!
Unfortunately, we could not take pictures of the inside of the palace. = ( ...But, here are a few pics of the outside.

When we finally got through the 1/2 mile walk through the palace garden, we decided to visit the Harrod's store and grab a bit to eat. Oh, my goodness! Harrod's is huge! It makes the Galleria Mall look like a street side kiosk. It has 6 floors; it covers an entire city block, and it contains every store you could possibly imagine and then some. We finally tracked an employee down who gave us a map, and finally we found our destination, Mo's Diner (ie. the cheapest resturant we could find, apparently very hard to come by in Harrod's). BTW, have I mentioned that Dr. Pepper is very hard to find in England. ASDA (Walmart equilivent) is one of the few places that carries it, and get this, on the back of the can, they refer to it as "a sparkling fruit beverage." oy vey...

After lunch, we did go back to our hotel for a little nap, but now we are out and about again. We stopped by the British Museum and got to see the Rosetta Stone

. Very cool piece of rock! I know that the picture is a little blurry, but there is actually writting on the stone. On the top is hieroglyphics, in the middle is Demotic (a form of Arabic), and on the bottom is Greek. Scholars were able to use the Greek inscription on this stone as the key to decipher hieroglyphics. To find out more, click the link above.

We spent the rest of the day just walking around London taking in the sites. We just finished having dinner at a little hole-in-the-wall Italian resturant (yummy food!) and once the sun begins to set, we'll head over to Westminster Abby and then on to Big Ben. We've been told that they look really pretty at night. I will make sure to post pics when I get back to the states.

Well, gotta run. Hope you are all having a great Sunday... hope you all were able to make it to ABF & Big church! (You know who you are...) Love ya'll!

Grace and peace.

England Trip - part 2

Cheers!

I can hardly believe how fast this week has gone by. It's almost 10pm on Thursday, and tomorrow morning is our last day at Holiday Club (HC). Here's the group photo (why they decided to take the group picture on Crazy Hair day is beyond me???) Though, we will have a final HC farewell tomorrow evening for the parents and kids. There'll be snacks, entertainment (skits) from the week, and a chance for the parents to see what all the kids have been doing. Unfortunately, not all of the kids are able to come back for the evening get-together, but it'll be fun nonetheless.

Today was 'inside-out' day, so some of the kids came with either their clothes inside out or backwards. They are just precious and so enthusiastic! During 'game time', the HC game didn't go over very well, so we played their favorite game, duck-duck-goose. Michelle and Kasey were observing, but I felt inclined to join the kiddos in their head-tapping madness. (Yes, that's me in the mush-pot...) I also got a lovely grass-stain on my capris and a big-ole bruise on my shin as a parting gift. That soon got old for them, so I introduced freeze-tag. I have never seen the boys so excited about a game. They loved it, and I was exhausted! But I had a lot of fun though.

I also have to say that I have been quite impressed with the quality of the Bible story scripts. They have been hilarious! The story of Jonah script has been my favorite by far. I'll have to post a little bit of the script later on so you'll know what I'm talking about.

We met up with John Wills for dinner tonight and ate at a small Italian restuarant. It was fun checking up with him and hearing all about the youth and what they've been up to with the NE1 conference. Camping, apparently, has been an interesting experience. 14 showers for 1000 youth. They've already run out of water twice, and they have to shut off the showers at midnight cause it needs at least 6 hours to recharge the water pumps. John said that on average they've been getting about 5 hours of sleep at night and they all ususally wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning cause their bodies are trying to readjust to the time difference. Fortunately, that's only happened a few times.

Well, gotta get some sleep! See you all in a few days. We'll be heading to London on Saturday. = )

England Trip - part 1

Well, we finally made it across the pond.
The weather has been gorgeous here, unlike the rather warm TX weather we have been having. 11 weeks of triple digit heat. Yuck! It's mostly been in the 70's during the day and has gotten down in the high 50's at night. It reminds me a lot of Colorado. So beautiful! Everything is all lush and green. There was a shower here on Sunday night, and I was just praying that God would send it over to TX. We so desperately need it.

Here's a snapshot of the craziness that was the youth and us at DFW. Anyway, our flight from DFW to Chicago was uneventful, but when we got to Chicago our plane was delayed almost an hour due to rain/stormy conditions. Yet again, I was saying, 'Ok, Lord, anytime you want to send that stuff towards TX would be fine by me.' When we did finally get on the plane, Kasey and I were greeted with a nice suprise. When Michelle first arrived at DFW, she discovered that all 3 of us were scattered all over the plane, so when Kasey & I checked in our luggage, she asked if Kasey & my seats could be together. All 3 of us couldn't sit together, but she at least thought that we could sit together. The lady at the counter said that wouldn't be a problem. So, we get on our plane to England and Kasey & I discovered a wonderful suprise. We had gotten the seats that the flight attendants use when their flights are over 8 hours. But since our flight was only 7 hrs & 45 mins, they got sold. Yippee!! Similar to 1st class seats, they almost fully reclined and had leg-rests. = ) Poor Michelle, she got stuck smack-dab in the middle of the rowdy youth. We owe her big time.

We arrived in Manchester, and then proceeded to load up all 150 youth (we were joined by 2 other church youth groups) onto buses. The lack of air conditioning on the bus was not the most pleasant ride I'd ever taken, but we eventually arrived at the University of Durham and were happily greeted by Barbara (Thornaby's church secretary) and Collin, her husband. We dined with the youth at the university mess hall and then left to head toward our host family. We're staying with Paul and Maxine Wright. They are the sweetest people! Gracious and hospitable, and to say that Maxine is a good cook would be a serious understatement. Especially the desserts she prepares; they look like something out of a recipe book. Almost too pretty to eat.

Thornaby Baptist now has a full-time pastor, David Whitehall. We got to go to the service on Sunday morning and he was great. He has a great sense of humor, very warm and welcoming. His wife Mandy is precious! Michelle and I got to sing 'I Stand Amazed' acapella for them during the worship time, and afterwards we went over to Jean's (Paul's mom's) house for Sunday dinner (aka lunch) and had a great time of fellowship.

Holiday Club (aka VBS) started this morning, and was big hit! Though not as polished as we would have liked, but the kids seemed to get a kick out of it. The theme is the circus; so 2 of the helpers (Mandy [who's also one of the co-leaders for my group, 'The Strongmen'] included) were dressed up as clowns.

The Strongmen

(from left to right: Andrew, Michael, Mandy, Jennifer, Kirsty, me, Chelsea, Kerri, Amy, Jaime, & Jaime)

Kasey, Michelle, & I were responsible for the games, the Bible story, theme illustration, theme song, & Bible verse. It has been so much fun playing with the kids and seeing how much they have grown up. The last time I saw a bunch of them was back in 2003. Fortunately, most of them have only grown taller, and still have their adorable baby faces.

Unfortunately, our host family has very limited (pay as you go) internet access, so I won't be able to update the blog frequently, but I will when I get a chance. Must sign off now, relax, and get some sleep (it's 9:28 pm here). Good night, and God bless!

Cheers!

Wow... hard to believe that the big departure day has arrived.
I will be heading off to England in the early afternoon tomorrow.
I am so excited and nervous at the same time. I don't feel 100% perpared to go, but I guess God does that sometimes just to make sure that we are having to lean completely on Him and not trusting in our own abilities and strength.

If you want to know what the weather's like where I'll be on the "other side of the pond," click here!

Prayer requests:
o Please pray that God would show Himself in a powerful way in England.
o Pray that God would use Michelle, Kasey, and me as instruments of His grace, mercy, and love as we minister to the kids at the Holiday Club (aka VBS), to the adults who'll be helping out, and to anyone else whom God places in our paths.
o Pray for our protection, and that we will know our authority over satan. (1 Peter 5:8-9)
o Pray for our physical and spiritual vitality, and that we will not negect to continually praise God for His provisions and blessings.
o Pray that the Holy Spirit will prepare the hearts of the people we meet, so that we might have the privilege of seeing souls come to faith in Jesus Christ!

Thank you so much for your prayers!
I love you all and I will see you all in Aug.

Grace and Peace,
Wendy <><

p.s. I'm not sure if I'll have email access over there, but if I do, I will either shoot you all an email or put a post on the blog. If not, then I'll definitely fill you all in when I get back. Blessings!

Father's Day

For a long time this use to not be a very happy holiday for me. Up until a year or 2 ago, I did not have a good relationship with my dad. I resented him for a long time for not being the father that I so desperately needed while I was growing up. Sometimes we can forget how impressionable children can be and how important a man's role as a "father" truly is.

In Pastor Gary's sermon today, he mentioned a statistic that really caught my attention. He said (paraphasing) that:
-- if a father & mother worship together in church with their children, the children will be 80% more likely to worship God consistantly as an adult.
-- if only a mother worships in church with her children, the children will be 30% more likely to worship God consistantly as an adult.
-- if only a father worships in church with his children, the children will be 70% more likely to worship God consistantly as an adult.
Amazing that it's only a 10% difference from from both parents to just a dad! That's a significants that should not be overlooked.

For all of you men who are reading this, those who do or do not have kids, I beg of you, for your children or future children's sake, please surrender yourself to Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can mold you and shape you into the man that He desires to raise His precious masterpieces that He has placed in your care.
You may not realize this, but when you become a parent, a father, YOU are responsible for demonstrating to your children the character of GOD. Your children will base their view on who God is by your words and actions. Their mom will have some impact, but ultimately it will come down to YOU.
Think about that for a moment... what kind of God will they believe in?
Is God someone who rarely or never keeps his promises?
Is God someone who only cares about himself and not about anyone else?
Is God someone who is mean or says hurtful things?
Is God someone who is distant and uninterested in what you like to do?
Is God someone who is selfish and blows up whenever he doesn't get his own way?
Is God someone who picks favorites and you never know if you are on his good list?
Is God someone who is too busy and is never available to spend time with you?
Is God someone who is never satisfied... no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough for him?
Is God someone who will never let you forget when you've messed up?
Is God someone whose love has conditions?

The answers above (in case you were wondering) are all NO!
So, begin now to become a man after God's own heart. God will bless you for being salt and light to your children, and for those of you who do not have children (guess what?) you can still demonstrate the love of Christ (who is the visible image of the invisible God) to others around you: co-workers, significant other, parents, friends, etc.

It took me a long time and God's unfathomable grace to make me see that may dad is far from perfect, but I have already seen a wonderful change in him. He is not the same person that he was 2 years ago. Oh, he still have a very long way to go (don't we all?) but I can see the hand of God moving in his heart and life. I do continue to pray that he will surrender his life completely to the Lordship of Christ, so that our Heavenly Father can bless him with the awesome plans that I know He has for him.
Soemthimes we forget that God does not force Himself on us. We can choose to live our lives by our own rules (and ultimately fail) or we can submit to God by doing things His way (and become holy). Proverbs is chuck full of the wisodm and benfits of living life by God's standard.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for choosing me and making me your child. Thank you for being my perfect Heavenly Father. God, Your love for me is beyond my comprehension, but yet You offer it freely, without condition. Thank you for loving me with an everlasting love, a 1 Corinthians 13 love. You knew me before I was in my mother's womb. You were the craftsman who knit me together and made every part of me, designed to your perfect specification. Every day of my life is already written in Your book. You can number the hairs on my head and know my every thought before I even think it. Oh, Lord, I am especially grateful for Your promise that there is nowhere I can go and nothing can do that will ever separate me from Your love through Christ Jesus my Lord.
Let me life be a voice for You, and let my life be a praise to You.
I love you! Happy Father's Day.
Amen

X-Men 3

My little sis and I got back from going to see X-Men 3. Oh Wow! It is excellent! Just as good as X1 and X2. For those of you have not seen it yet, I won't give too much away. To be as vague as I can be: there are some sad moments, some on-the-edge-of-your-seat moments, and some very awesome moments.

I am happy to dispell a very disturbing rumor:
There is NOT a love scene between Wolverine and Storm. Ick!!!! Just the thought of that gives me shivers.

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE:
Make sure to stay to the VERY end of the credits. If you don't, you will be sooooo disappointed!

This is definitely a movie to see, and one that will eventually be added to my growing DVD collection.

Hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Never a good time

Have you ever noticed that it's rare to find a good time to do anything?

-- You have a gigantic load of dirty clothes, very few clean ones, and you know that laundry MUST be done, but your entire day and weekend are booked solid.

-- You know that you really need to get your new car registration sticker on you car. You have it sitting on your desk, but something always seems to come up and by the time you have time to do it, it's too dark outside.

-- You have your gym membership and have the desire to have that lean, toned body that you always wanted, especially with summer coming up, and... eek!... bathing suit season (shudder...), but something always comes up and disrupts your ideal exercise schedule.

-- You desire to be close to the Lord and deepen your relationship with Jesus Christ. You know that the easiest way to accomplish this is to spend time with Him by reading His Word and praying, among other important spiritual disciplines... BUT "something" always comes up or distracts you. For all your "good intentions," it's just never a good time.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever thought, 'If I only had some more time?' or 'I don't have enough time today, but maybe tomorrow.' If you have, you're not alone. Many Christians (myself included) have struggled with this and are still struggling.
Friday night, after going to see AQ's play, I eventually got home and I began to feel kind of lethargic. I haven't felt close to God in a long while and I don't have the same joy in my heart that I remember having. "What is wrong with me?" I asked myself.
That's when God turned on the light bulb... "You can do nothing APART from ME!"
I had to admit that I haven't been consistent in my quiet times or prayer life. No wonder I didn't feel like myself. God's Word is the bread of life and I've been starving myself, just trying to live off of "spiritual snacks" (ie. going to church, ABF, ladies Bible study, etc.) but my private time with the Lord is what is most important to Him.

He also reminded me that "stuff" will ALWAYS "come up." The enemy will do whatever he can to distract us, whether it's temptation, our own flesh-desires, deadlines, kids, you name it.... Satan doesn't want us to be close to God, thus becoming more like our Savior. Satan wants us to stay stagnent, indifferent, luke-warm, apathetic, and ineffective in this world. But God says NO!

Though life can be busy and hectic at times, that is still no excuse. Jesus says that we can accomplish NOTHING if we are apart from Him. We cannot bear fruit if we are separated from the Vine. God knows that life is not always easy, but He also says that if we want to be more like Jesus, then we HAVE to make HIM our first priority.
Satan may try to tell you...
It's never gonna be a good time to pray.
It's never gonna be a good time to read your Bible.
It's never gonna be a good time to fast.
It's never gonna be a good time to exercise.
It's never gonna be a good time to eat healthy.
It's never gonna be a good time to go to bed on time.
It's never gonna be a good time to tithe.
It's never gonna be a good time to witness to your unsaved friend.

Then what do you do?
Well, God then suggests the unthinkable... give up some activities and/or reschedule your schedule. Just as you would write in your calender "Volunteer with ______" or "Go see movie with ______," don't you think God wants to be on your calender as well?

I challenge you (and myself) to make sure that you are daily: in the Word for at least 15 minutes (letting God speak to you) and "on your knees" in prayer (allowing yourself to talk to God).

"I will hide Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You."

Wait For God's Best

Today at work, Linda, my boss, was telling me about the day she spent yesterday at her lake house with her dear friend, Bev Brown. Bev is one of the leaders for the older single ladies Bible study at church. While they both were talking, praying, and planning the upcoming fall Bible study, Linda happened to find a letter that someone had written a few years to her little cell group. She brought it with her to work today and shared it with me. It really touched my heart, so I thought I would share it with you as well.

Wait For God's Best
Author Unknown

Everyone longs to give himself or herself to another human being, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But, God says to the Christian…

No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content being loved by Me alone… I love you, my child. Until you discover that only in Me lies your satisfaction, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best.

Please allow Me to bring it to you. You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am, keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Don’t be anxious.

Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or received from Me. You must keep from looking off and away. Look up to Me or you’ll miss the things I want to show you, and then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love more wonderful than you would have ever dreamed. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready…

I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time… until you are both living exclusively for Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that reflects your relationship with Me, Prefect Love. And dear one, I want you to experience by the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and completely the everlasting union of Beauty and Perfection and Love that I offer you through Myself.

Believe, and be satisfied…

Kudos!

I just wanted to give a big Kudos to AQ and PoD for a great performance at Sat. night's show of Saga of the Golden Horseshoe. I thoroughly enjoyed it, as did LoW and my lil sis. To all readers, please say a prayer for AQ's ankle, when you get a moment. Apparently, her boot cut the back of her ankle right before her entrance during the first performance Fri. night. Hope you're feelin' better, sunshine!

Hard to believe we're already half way through May. Where has this year gone?
But there are still many things to look forward to this summer.
Several movies, in particular, that I want to see are:

Over the Hedge -- opens May 19
X-Men 3 -- opens May 26
Cars -- opens June 8
Click -- opens June 23
Superman Returns -- opens June 30
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 -- opens July 7
Lady in the Water -- opens July 21
Monster House -- opens July 28

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)

Update

Well, praise the Lord that I survived finals. Yippee!
I decided not to take any summer classes this year. The only complaint I have against my school is that their summer semesters are VERY short. The longest summer class is only 10 days. Yes, you read correctly. 10 days to somehow absord an entire semester's worth of information. Maybe God has blessed some people with that kind of mental compacity, but I don't believe I am one of them. I have been advised that if I ever did consider taking a summer (10 day) class at Criswell, then I should take Hermeneutics (the study of the transmission and translation of the Scriptures and of the principles and procedures of their interpretation and application. In other words, learning how to study & interpret Scripture correctly.) I have been told that this particular class can be a bit tedious when stretched out over a normal semester, but only having 10 days makes the subject less tedious and drawn-out. But, we shall see...

Don't forget to give your Mom a hug or at least a phone call this Sunday because it's Mother's Day. Even if you and your mom don't have the greatest relationship in the world, just remember: you only have one Mom, and reconciliation has to begin with you. If you are stubborn enough to wait for the "other person" to make the 1st move, then all you'll gain is a lot of wasted precious time that you'll never be able to get back.

For those of you who did not know, our very own Apocalypse Queen will be lighting up the stage as part of the cast of The Saga of the Golden Horseshoe, a rumored-to-be very funny, knee-slapping, melodrama put on by Word of Mouth Productions (WOMP). The show opens this weekend and will run through the 21st. I have been informed that all food items, especially popcorn and ice will be baned from entering the theatre. Apparently, after the popcorn/ice throwing meheim that ensued during a few performances of WOMP's "Peril on the High Seas", management would both like to protect the actors and actresses and leave less mess for the janitors to clean up. Your cooporation is appreciated.

If anyone is interested, I just checked Christi Berger's blog. Baby Berger has not made his or her appearance yet, but hopefully any day now.

Hope you all have a great rest of the week!

What's to fear?

Everyone has fears. Some are rational, and others are not so rational. And anyone who tries to tell you that they aren't afraid of anything is a liar. What they probably mean is that there are things that they are afraid of, but they have worked to overcome their fears. The fears are still there, but it's how we react to our fears that is the key.

Like many others out there, I'm a fan of ER. Besides the drama, I am fascinated by the medical side of the TV Show. The lingo (the 27-letter words that I can't pronounce, much less understand what they mean) and the procedures (shocking someone, CPR, etc.) always intrigue me. But there is always one part that I don't like to watch. It's when they have to inject someone with a needle. For as long as I can remember I have never liked needles and have a small fear of them. I don't know why really, I just don't like them.

I do think it's kind of ironic, however, that God would make me have O negative (O-) blood (i.e. universal donor, my blood type can be given to anyone of any blood type, except O+). The next time you watch ER, listen closely whenever some poor victim comes in and they need to do emergency surgery. I guarentee that one of the doctors will call out, "Get me some O-neg or type-specific..." I know that giving blood is important. With one donation, you can save 3 people! That's just amazing to me, and it's also good for your body. By having old blood withdrawn, you are forcing your body to create new blood. That's a good thing! What I find ironic and very annoying is that God would give me blood that is beneficial to others, and yet I would be afraid of needles.

During one of my semesters at Quad C, I saw our college was having a blood drive. I had never given blood before, and for some reason I was feeling rather brave that day; so I decided that I would face my fear and give blood. I probably should have done some more reading up on the matter before jumping right in, but that's what I get for being spontaneous. To make a long story short (I know, too late!), I gave blood right after lunch, but I hadn't eatten enough. I was informed by one of the nurses that I'm a slow bleeder (I took longer to give than most other people), and after I gave, a friend was getting me some juice and a snack and all of a sudden, I fainted. Fortunately, another friend of mine was there to catch me. I was ok after a little while; only my pride was wounded.

You live and you learn... (or so the song says...)
This Saturday was the 3rd time that I have given blood. It wasn't planned. The ladies of our Sunday school class met for brunch at Into My Garden, and when I pulled into the side parking lot, I noticed that there was a Carter Blood Care van next to one of the shops. Suddenly the Holy Spirit asked me, "Why don't you give blood after the brunch?" My initial thought was not today, but instead I responded, "Well, maybe." After a great brunch with the girls, I was heading straight for my car, when I felt myself make a small left turn, and the next thing I know, I'm standing in the doorway of the Carter van with a nice man pointing me towards the registration table. Apparently, the Holy Spirit took me up on my "maybe"...
Fortunately, I did not faint this time (and I didn't my 2nd time either). But instead of fainting, I have picked up a new trend... crying. Both my 2nd & 3rd time, I was completely fine up until they were about to stick the needle in my arm. Then tears start streaming down my cheeks. I cannot tell you how much this irritates me. I get so mad at myself for being such a wuss. Both times, the prick hasn't been painful. Yeah, it stings, but not like my arm's been riped off or something.
Not only that, but I feel bad for the nurse. My nurse today was so sweet. She apologized several times cause she thought she had hurt me. I reassured her as I'm dabbing my watery eyes that it's not her; it's me. And to make matters worse, I can't cry with dignity. I admire those who can; unfortunately I was not blessed with that talent.

So, what do you do? My opinion of needles has not changed. I still don't like them, but despite my fear, I will press on. I will continue to give blood because I know that I am being obedient to and honoring God by facing my fear. Jesus said, "And the King will tell them, 'I assure you, when you did it [i.e. any selfless deed] to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'"

I just want to encourage you; if you are struggling with a fear, do not lose heart. Jesus knows what your going through. He experienced fears too, but He faced them and came out victorious. He promises the same for you. "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7)
I read a book once called, If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. Facing our fears are not easy and sometimes not without pain, but God will make us stronger and bless us for trusting in Him. "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

A Texas Chili Contest

Warning - If you can read this whole story without laughing out loud, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end!

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park.

The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!

Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...

Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I tooted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I pooped on myself when I tooted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 tooted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Across The Pond

Well, I found out some exciting news. I'm gonna get to go back to England this summer in late July on a missions trip. = D I am so exstatic!!!!

I'm gonna be going with 2 friends from church, Michelle and Kasey. We're gonna be going to a small town in England called Thornaby (click here for more info on Thornaby) and we'll be helping out a little church there do their 5th annual Vacation Bible School for the kiddos.

I was actually part of the first team that travelled across "the pond" to help the church do their very first VBS. It was so awesome! I loved every minute. If you want to read more about the miracle that happened on my first overseas trip, read my blog entry from Sept. 27, 2004. (I apologize in advance cuz it's rather long.) I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for this summer!
Also, please pray for me as I prepare to go. Pray that God will begin to move in the hearts and lives of the people that I will come in contact with, especially the kids, and please also pray for me as I will have to raise $1000 for the trip (airfare, lodging, etc.) If you feel led to contribute financially, please let me know and I will give you further details (it will be tax-free).

Until later...

Friends...

... are there to listen to you when the world tells you to be quiet.
... are there to hold you when everyone else pushes you away.
... are there to encourage you as you pursue your dreams.
... are there to bring you back to reality when you're about to run amuck.
... are there to give you good advise, whether you want it or not.
... are there to love you even though the world says you're worthless.
... are there to lend a helping hand.
... are there to teach you when you don't understand.
... are there to help you to hang on when all you want to do is let go.
... are there to help you let go when all you want to do is hang on.
... are there to comfort you when it seems the world is against you.
... are there to celebrate with you when a battle has been won.
... are there to stand by you through thick and thin... to the very end!

(author: me, 4-18-06)

"A friend loves at all times..." (Prov. 17:17)
"There's a friend who sticks closer than a brother..." (Prov. 18:24)
Jesus said, "You are My friends..." (John 15:14)



To all my Friends, Peeps, Browncoats, Drunkin' Monkeys, & etc.:
Please know that you are loved, and thank you so much for being a part of my life. Your friendship means more to me than you'll ever know!
Blessings, now & always!

A closer look...

I just recently purchased the DVD Pride and Prejudice. I immediately fell in love with it after watching it for the 1st time with the Apocalypse Queen. She had seen it in the theatre and insisted that I watch it. No complaints from me. It is an awesome movie. Very well done. I highly recommend it!

When we first watched it, AQ happened to make a comment that I didn't really understand at first. She said that I remind her of Jane, one of Elizabeth's sisters in the movie. After watching it again (with subtitles... English accents can be a bit hard to understand...) for the 2nd time this past Saturday, I paid closer attention to the character Jane and now I finally understand what she meant.

There's a line in the movie where Elizabeth is having a heated arguement with Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth has discovered that Mr. Darcy purposely split up Jane and one of his good friends. He says to Elizabeth that he did so because after watching the two of them closely, he "thought" that his friend's feelings for Jane were deeper than her feelings for his friend. He thought that Jane was indifferent to him. (This is of course not true. The audience sees clearly that Jane was heart-broken when she found out that her beloved was leaving.) So, Mr. Darcy broke them up. Elizabeth, tells Mr. Darcy, that her sister is not indifferent; she's just shy and then yells at him, "My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me!" And all Mr. Darcy can do is stand there feeling like the biggest heel in all of creation.

After watching the scene, I began to look at myself. Am I like Jane? Am I really like that? Am I hard to read? Do I really keep my emotions that restrained? Am I really that shy? I'm not sure. Sometimes when we try to evaluate ourselves, we see ourselves differently than who we really are. We sometimes see what we want to see as opposed to what we really are or vise versa. I guess that's when we have to trust in the opinion of others (friends and family) to help us correctly evaluate our outward personality.

I did just recently finish going through a ministry placement seminar called PLACE. Among some other things, they have you take a personality test and a spiritual gift test to help you find out more about yourself. Apparently, my personality is mostly Phlegmatic (48%) with a bit of Melancholy (33%). The other 2 kinds of personalities are Sanguine (18%) and Choleric (3%).

Another thing I found interesting was that before I became a Christian I took a spiritual gift test and it said that my gift was Mercy. But now, the test I took says that my #1 gift is Evangelism, #2 is Exhortation, and there was a 3-way tie for #3: Mercy, Faith and Discernment.
The Bible says that we are garrenteed at least 1 spiritual gift when we are born-again, and I do believe that as you mature in your walk with the Lord that He can give you other gifts. The apostle Paul even said, "Since you are so eager to have spiritual gifts, ask God for those that will be of real help to the whole church." (1 Cor. 14:12 NLT)

So, now that I have all this info, what do I do with it? In a week or so, a consultant from the church is gonna meet with me, and she or he will help me to find a ministry where my personality and my gifts can be used to further God's Kingdom. Now, I just have to be patient, wait and see what God has in store...

Glitches

Oh, the wonder of technology...

I find it oh so annoying and more than just a little frustrating how one small glitch can ruin a perfectly good mood. For clarification...
Last night, I spent 2 hours on here writing an entry. I was venting, rambling, and actually ended up with something rather profound, deep, meaningful, spiritual, and encouraging. I was quite pleased that in 2 hours, I was able to express some frustrations, concerns, and worries, and had allowed the Lord to minister to me through my writing. I even ended the entry with a prayer that refreshed me and brought me back to my senses. When I was finished, I was so looking forward to clicking on the "Publish Post" button and sharing my little blurb with all of you.
However...
Right before I clicked on the happy orange button, a little voice inside my head asked, "Aren't you going to spell check your entry first?"
I pondered for a second and thought, "That's a good idea."
So, without another moment's hesistation, I clicked on the spell check button, and I tell you, every rational, practical, non-computer-trusting particle in my brain screamed (in slow motion, of course) "Nooooooooooo!" the nano-second after the small, innocent-looking spell check button had been pressed.
I'll give you 2 guesses as to what happened next, but you'll only need one. That's right! I lost everything. The next thing I see is a blank, white, empty screen. Words cannot even express my frustration and utter outrage at my myself and my computer...

But after a few minutes, the Holy Spirit gently comforted me (to be honest, the last thing I wanted was to be comforted. I was quite content to sulk like a little child who didn't get her way).

"God is in control," I felt the Spirit remind me. This glitch did not suprise Him. In fact, He allowed it to happen, and strange to even fathom that maybe it was His plan all along for me to spend a gruelling 2 hours writting and then lose it all. "Why?" I asked Him.

I did not get an answer. Instead, I came to realize that that entry was just for me and my Father. What was said, was for me. I would have liked to have used the entry to encourage others, but I know that I would not be able to re-write it even if I wanted to. I may not understand why annoyances, glitches, and flops happen, but I can learn from them (ie. always click Publish first, edit later!) and I can rest in the knowledge that though I may not understand why bad things happen God knows why and He can see the big picture. I can't see tomorrow, but He can see past, present, furture and eternity.

If God is for us, then who can be against us?
God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

V-day blues?

Ah, Valentine's day...
the day that can consist of cards, sweets and flowers,
the day that can make people feel like they are loved or unloved,
the day that can make people extremely nervous or extremely depressed,
the day that is filled with either regret or hope,
the day that either shows someone that they are special or forgotten.

I tend to find that people either hate this holiday or love it (9 of 10 who hate it are single*. *This is not an official survey, just my personal opinion and observance.)
This is the one day out of the year that sometimes seems to rub it in your face that you are single and have no one special to love you. This holiday can make people feel very bitter about their present martial status (lack there of) and for the longest time that's how I felt about Feb. 14th.

But not anymore...
Though I may not be married or even dating someone, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not alone, that I am not unloved, and that I am not forgotten.
Take a look:

Isaiah 43:2 - God said, "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."

Hebrews 13:5 - "For God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.' "

Jeremiah 31:3 - God said, "I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to Myself."

Romans 5:8 - "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

James 1:18 - "In His goodness He chose to make us His own children by giving us His true word. And we, out of all creation, became His choice possession."

John 15:16 - Jesus said, "You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."

If you are still not convinced that you are loved by a perfect Heavenly Father, then please read this poem/conversation (Psalm 139) that a man named David wrote thousands of years ago that perfectly pictures what you mean to God.

1 O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away.
3 You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am.
4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD.
5 You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!
7 I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night –
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable!
18 I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!...
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.